To Heal and To Bruise

These hands of mine are quite magnificent.

These hands of mine are yet nothing but dust.

These hands of mine were created by the maker of the Universe, my Lord Jesus Christ.

These hands of mine, yet dust they may be, by His strength alone, have the ability to help others.

These hands of mine, yet dust they may be, have the ability to create.

These hands of mine, yet dust they may be, have the ability to serve.

My two hands, fingertip to fingertip, and palm to palm, have shown me time and time again to be both healers and bruisers.

These hands of mine....they heal. And yet these hands of mine...they bruise.

Created by the God of our Universe, they were made to serve and love others. Yet because of my sin, my hands do much more than serve. Much more than love. Much more than heal. Because of my sin, these hands have the ability to do so much worse. They have the ability to do quite the opposite of healing.

When I look at my life, from all of my yesterdays up until today, this is a common theme I find. My hands heal. And yet my hands bruise.

My heart aches when I think of those who my hands have bruised. I have bruised others by my words. My actions. And when I reflect back on those times-times where I remember my hands bruising whom I love; I feel sadness, heart ache, disappointment, despair, and shame. When I say "my hands" bruise, what I am referring to, is myself. Me, myself, and I.

We all have the ability to be healers. We all have the ability to be servers. We all have the ability to be lovers. And yet we all have fallen short at times from each of these. We harm, we bruise, we hurt. Typically those who we love most dearly. Those whom we hold closest to our hearts. We hurt with our words. We hurt with our actions. We bruise with our self-consumed lifestyles. We bruise with our apathetic and complacent attitudes. We harm with our dishonesty and lies. We harm with our backstabbing and gossip and two facing. We are sinners who have hands that heal. And hands that bruise.

I feel shame and sadness when I think about the ways these hands of mine have bruised. I feel joy and gladness when I think about the ways these hands of mine have healed. I feel pain when I think about those people whom I hold close to my heart, who I have pained with my own hands. I feel hopeful and at peace when I think about those who I have shown love and grace and service to with my own hands.

And so my prayer is this: that God, you may make my hands like yours. Mold these hands with your very own, so that they are healing hands and not ones that bruise. Make these hands, hands that protect and love and shower healing upon those who I love and those who are in need. Those who may be complete strangers. And even those who have done wrong onto me. Mold these hands. Make them like yours. And forgive me for how my hands, how I have bruised others. How I have harmed those I care about. Through my selfishness. Through my stubbornness. Through my apathy. Through my lies. Through the walls I have put up and the ones I have refused to tear down. Make these hands of mine ones that protect. Ones that are honest and true and good. Ones that wish only to love, and never to harm.

Amen.