Overwhelmed by the Greatness of God

The other day I was sitting out on the beach, taking a closer look at Isaiah 40 and Psalm 8, and came to realize that I was faced with a difficult task: trying to wrap my head around the greatness of God. This idea is something that has been on my mind for quite some time now as the Lord has begun to open my eyes, my heart, my mind and my spirit to more of who he is-and as he has done so, he has shown me just how BIG he really is. Everything about him. His grace. His beauty. His power. His affection for me. His forgiveness and perfect mercy. His strength. His unconditional love.

To think...that the God of the universe is jealous for me.

To think...that the creator of heaven and earth desires all of me.

To think...that he would even want anything to do with me.

To think...me, a wretched sinner who falls off the righteous path on a daily basis, is desired for by God.

To think...that me, a small human, like dust, like a grasshopper, who can be blown away by a breath of his wind and will someday wither like the grass, is unconditionally loved by Jesus.

To think...He laid his life down so me, a poor sinner, could live.

To think...me, who is prideful, who takes for granted the love he offers me daily through countless ways, who forgets to put Him in my day, who acts as if I am my only refuge or saving grace at times, who builds my riches up on earth sometimes more than I'd like to admit, who can be two-faced, a liar, a cheater, who causes pain onto others, who spends money foolishly at times, who can be so full of my desires of the flesh, who spends my time serving myself instead of God and his people, who has a jealous heart, who forgets to speak with love, who becomes irrational, impatient and impulsive at times, who can be all to ungrateful at times...this girl, this very girl...is forgiven and loved by the God of the Universe.

Now that, is one incredibly insane thought to wrap my head around. I am completely unworthy of His perfect love. He is everything I am not. A perfect grace. Undeserved. Taken for granted. Freely given to me.

I hope you will take the time to read through Isaiah 40 and Psalm 8. They aren't that long, but they are full of richness. The words spoken in both of these will undoubtedly and inevitably open your eyes to more about who is God of ours his-that is, just how great he truly is.

Anyone who knows me, can testify to my sin. They have either seen me commit it, wallow in it, become absorbed by it, or even complacent to it at times. I am not here to convey myself as anyone worthy of the blood of the Lamb. I am not here to convey myself as someone who is always gracious, always loving, always a good friend, a good sister, and good daughter. I am not here to convey myself as anything except who I really am: a sinner. One who has given into and been covered by sin, at times so much that I felt like I was drowning or at least barely keeping my head above water. When I look at my past history, there is no way I could win an argument against Christ that I am worthy of any sort of grace. Not one droplet of mercy should be given to me after the depth of my sin is laid out on the table. But what does the Lord tell me? What is his response to all of this?

"That her inequity has been removed, that she has received of the Lord's hand double for all her sins" (Isaiah 40:2).

When I read something like this, I am overwhelmed. The glory of the Lord floods over my broken bones and weary body. There is freedom to be found. Complete freedom from the chains of all of my sin that have held me down for far too long. And when I experience this freedom-it is then that I am experiencing the glory of God in all its greatness. His righteousness. My unrighteousness. They merge and what do I receive? I receive the Lord's hand double for all my sins.

"Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, And marked off the heavens by the span, And calculated the dust of the earth by the measure, And weighed the mountains in a balance And the hills in a pair of scales?" (Isaiah 40:12)

Look around you-for just a moment even, stop and look around you. Listen to the rain. Watch the sun setting over the horizon. Stare endlessly down that long dirt road that seems to run forever endlessly. Everything that was created. Everything that is in front of your eyes that you can see, or smell, or touch or feel...none of that was created by our own doing. When you really stop to look around you and see how beautiful this creation really is-it truly will overwhelm you. So stop. Slow down. Breathe. Let creation sink into you for just a moment even. Let it radiate through your soul. Let it take over your busy mind. Let it capture your innermost being. This creation, this wonderfully made creation-made by the same God who desires me. The same God who is so great and powerful enough to create such beauty, desires all of me. He is jealous for my love. This love is the love of a jealous kind. And to think how often I desire other things before God...I consider other things, or at least, I act as if I do, (which actions seem to explain what it is we value more than anything) of greater value or importance. I idolize. I put worldly treasures first. I seek them out instead of searching for the heart of God. Academics, my physical body/appearance, certain people/friends and relationships in my life, my future, money, material objects, desires of the flesh, my resume, status, reputation....the list is endless! These are just a few of the things I put before God, desiring and valuing these before him. How can I even compare the value, the worth, the importance of any of these with the greatness of God?! Pretty foolish don't you think? These are simply nothing. They too are like dust that will fade. Worldly treasures that will never fulfill, will never love me, will never save me, will never do anything but distract me from what this life I'm living is truly all about. All of these things...."Scarcely have they been planted, Scarcely have they been sown, Scarcely has their stock taken root in the earth. But He merely blows on them, and they wither, And the storm carries them away like stubble." (Isaiah 40:24).

There is absolutely nothing of comparison on this earth to the greatness of our Lord. I live my life all too often (more than I would like to admit) with a likeness for these before Him. "To whom then will you liken Me that I would be his equal?" (Isaiah 40:25). How foolish it is that I live as if any of these things are equally like God....in worth or in greatness. Now you and I can say by our words what we value. But it is our actions which will always speak louder, and in many cases, convict us and humble us, as they define our values. They help to point out if we are likening anything to be equal compared to God.

You see, I do not escape the Lord. And neither do you. You will never escape his care for you. This Lord, who hung the stars in the sky (Isaiah 40:26) CARES for you. Cares for me. My small broken self does not escape the affection of the Lord. The God who created the stars is powerful and it is by that same power, that He also cares for me. Nothing escapes him. And how amazing is it to think, that the creator of all the heavens and the earth-that same God, cares deeply for me? How worthy he is of our praise-that he would even stop for a second to grant us his care and attention. (Isaiah 40:29). How undeserving of his love am I. He is good and kind and great. I am a sinner, weak, small, running in my shape, complacent in my sin. So I have nothing to do except cry out for forgiveness. I give into all wordly pleasures, placing them before him too many times to count-a God so great he created this all. And yet, a God so great, and so good, he loves me enough to forgive me of all of that sin. How do I even come before Him? I am covered in my sin, I have nothing to offer Him but my broken heart. I am left with the resounding words of these lyrics playing in my head:

"So I offer up my life. It's all that I have to give.

And confess that I have sinned. Praise the Lamb, Praise the Lamb who was slayed."

I am left with a loss of words. A sinner who has but the world first, before Him who died for me-He still wants me! He forgives me, he loves me unconditionally despite what I have done. With that one sacrifice, I am forever forgiven. All of my sin. Gone as far as the East from the West and he remembers it no more. I am undeserving. He deserves so much more me me. I am left humbled. I am left overwhelmed. By a God so great, who has already done it all-forgiven me and stood by me. Never let me down and never let me go. I have been made new. By his sacrifice, I am granted life. And it is times like these where I can't help but thank him. Thank him for humbling me enough. For giving me a greater glimpse into the depth of my sin and the depth of his love for me. I am thankful for the conviction, that I may be led to repent and receive his perfect forgiveness. A love so undeserving, I am left without words. It is times like these, where I can feel my heart being awaken, where I can feel the Holy Spirit stirring in me, calling me.